Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
