I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
