She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
