It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
