She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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