I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
