do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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