bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
