she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
