can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
