is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
