I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
