You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
