have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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