i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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