i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
