we're blogging at a bar
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
