I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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