They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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