Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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