just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Do vagina's smell?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You've changed since you got that strap on
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
