Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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