Banned from zoo.
Again?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
