just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Do you have feelings for this penis?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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