Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
