so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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