the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Randomize
