Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
