Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
