It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
