Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
