Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
as a side note pls kill me
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
