you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
