this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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