Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
