i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize