HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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