On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
