Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
