I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
my being single is dangerous.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
