I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
