She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Randomize
