You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
