im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
