i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize