the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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