I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
We smell like vodka and hangover
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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