Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
NoShamevember. You game?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
