Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
