...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
