I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize
