we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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