we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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