I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
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