I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
How's work?
Spinning.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
