her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
