yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
