I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
