Pappa wants mamma naked
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
