fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
